We are very excited to announce our Five ‘N Five blog series: five extremely irresistible blog posts that can be read in five minutes or less. What mom has more than five minutes in a row to sit and do something?? We have learned and been programmed to do EVERYTHING in five minutes or less. Do dishes (or half of them anyway). Fold half a load of laundry. Cook half a dinner (and come back to it when the opportunity presents itself, with all kinds of hope that it’s not burned or soggy). Make phone calls. Shower. Poop.
So the idea for Five ‘N Five was born. We are SO happy that our first guest blogger, Robin O’Bryant (robinschicks.com), the HILARIOUS author of KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE & OTHER LIES MOMS TELL THEMSELVES, wanted to share some Fivers with us (and you!). She is witty, she is smart, and most important, she is relevant. Her answers are laugh-out-loud truthful and totally relatable.
R&H (that’s us): In 5 sentences or less, tell us who you are as a mom and author:
RO (that’s Robin O’Bryant): I'm a wife and mother of three of the funniest humans on the planet. I'm trying to keep my kids out of juvie, my house from reaching Hoarder status, and I write to make other people laugh which keeps me from crying.
R&H: Tell us five reasons you chose to write your book, KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE & OTHER LIES MOMS TELL THEMSELVES:
RO: I've always been a huge reader and compulsive journaler (I don't think that's a word but autocorrect didn't get all red-faced about it.) I day-dreamed about being a writer but I had no idea how to get paid for writing since I wasn't drawn to fiction and I didn't want to be a journalist. I started writing KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE & OTHER LIES MOMS TELL THEMSELVES after I had 3 daughters in 4 years and realized I had a hella lot of words to say about this whole motherhood business.
R&H: Name five reasons moms can go crazy:
1) Their kids.
2) Their kids.
3) Their kids.
4) Their spouse.
5) Their kids.
R&H: List five things you find yourself saying to your kids the most:
1) Leave your sister's butt alone.
2) Get your toe out of your mouth.
3) I can't hear anything y'all are saying when everybody is talking at the same time! Somebody shut up!
4) Stop licking me.
5) You can't be hungry. I just fed you breakfast/lunch/dinner 10 minutes ago.
R&H: Name five ways you stay sane:
1) Babysitters, especially during the summer. I need a couple of hours alone in my house every few days, just to breathe and not lose my mind.
4) A housekeeper that comes every two weeks; she helps me catch up on my laundry and cleans the floors so that it's safe to walk on them without wearing shower shoes.
5) My husband is awesome. He sees the look in my eye when my crazy is about to show and will whisk all three kids away to work on a project or go swimming in the creek. I love that man (when he's not contributing to the chaos.)