I have been thinking about this blog post for a while now. Why? Partly because I wasn’t sure I would want to post it or not. Mostly, because I wasn’t sure I would finish it. Words can be powerful tools. But I decided to put these tools to good use and use them to my advantage. So, I decided to put them here in this blog post and hope that whoever’s reading it will not judge me but hold me accountable for what I’m about to say.
As the headline says, I am not setting goals of losing weight or eating right or exercising or staying more organized or any of the other dozens of things I have resolved to fix at the end of every year, only to wake up the next morning and realize it’s just another day. Nothing ever changes. The one thing I want to change is this: CONSISTENCY.
I don’t have it. Now, before I rip myself to shreds with list of all the things I am NOT consistent with, I’ll name the things I HAVE been consistent with in my life (starting from childhood). Here goes: dance (I was a dancer from age 6 to 23), musician (played the piano and flute from elementary school till I graduated high school), education (got my bachelor's degree), dating (got married), kids (I have two), getting a book published (that took A LOT of consistency).
I am consistently committed to my friends, my household (because who wants to live in a dirty, filthy house?), my doctor’s appointments (cause I’d die if I wasn’t), um…cooking (because we’d die if I didn’t), maintaining my car (because we’d die if I didn’t), you get the picture. I do all the necessary stuff because, well, they’re necessary.
I might die at an older age if I ate better and worked out more, but that’s not the point. There are so many things I want to do that I am just NOT consistent with. It drives me insane! Me! The person doing it! I drive myself insane. For instance, I’ll go weeks putting lotion on my arms and hands and really enjoy how soft they are. Then I’ll stop. And my skin will get all dried out and gross. It will, for some reason, then take weeks to start up again…in the meantime, I am hating my arms and hands. Why do I do that??
I am also inconsistent with keeping my car clean, eating healthy, exercising, keeping my stuff organized, folding laundry, writing blog posts (I manage many sites), going to bed early, and there are tons more that I can’t even think of right now (or maybe I’m too lazy to think of because I’m inconsistent?)
Or maybe I’m just hard on myself? I know that all of these things are things all of us moms do. But there are moms who do it all (or seem to!). Hilary, for instance, is an exercise fiend. And she works and eats healthy and has three kids. I have friends on FB that post pics of themselves hiking all the time. I see other moms posting all the delicious, healthy meals they make, or crafts they make or juices they squeeze or whatever else it is they're doing. I don’t know. Maybe I’m seeing all the moms who, combined, would be one great big super mom. But still, no matter who I’m comparing myself to, I need to start comparing only these two things: my potential with my actions. I can do more!!
I want to lose some weight. I want to eat healthier. And I want to get organized. I don’t want to be searching for the boys’ shoes every single morning before school because they’ve left them in the far back corner of our very large yard and I’ve decided that morning time (AKA rush around getting boys dressed, getting myself dressed, collecting everything for school, getting them there by 7:55 am, etc.) is the best time to find them.
I don’t want to be grossed out when I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to go another summer thinking, “I wish I could wear that swimsuit!” I don’t want to open my bedroom dresser drawer and dig through everything just to get out a matching shirt. I want to open the drawer and see everything that’s in there! I don’t want to rummage through my pile of shoes…I want to have them neatly aligned on the shoe rack that I bought for just that very reason!!
I started the 100 days of Happy with Hilary. She finished, I did not. I did a Mud Run (which I was very proud of myself for) and completed it, and wanted to train for another one. I did not. I want to use teeth whitening gel (I even have the molds for my teeth) long enough that they actually have a chance of getting whiter. I want to finish ANY workout program I start. It has yet to happen. I want to shop for food and cook it on Sundays to get nice and organized for the week. I’ve done that twice…ever.
There are lots of things I want to do, and while I realize I can’t do them all, I CAN do the ones I set out to do. I have to be CONSISTENT and NOT STOP. Seems so easy! It’s not that I put too much on my plate. I just think, “Oh, I stopped today, I’ll start tomorrow.” Then tomorrow comes, and the next day, and the next…and it takes weeks or months before I start again, only to fail. I want to do it this time. I’ve mentioned many things, from shoe organizing to whitened teeth, but there are three things I want to publicly announce so I can even have a chance of possibly sticking to them.
Nope, there’s really only one thing.
Remaining CONSTANT! Then I would accomplish those things and many, many more. Who can help me stay motivated? I know lots of friends read this…and strangers, too! Let me know you support my efforts with the big C word by posting here every once in a while. I’ll be glad you did! J